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Ask Or Tell?

Jan 11, 2024 | 0 comments

Have you ever made a suggestion to your husband and he resisted because he felt you were making a demand? This has happened at times in our marriage. I learned that I could often avoid this problem by changing a statement to a question.

For example, instead of saying, “We should call your brother,” I’d say, “Do you think we should call your brother?” Instead of, “Put the plant over there,” I could ask, “What  do you think of putting the plant over there?”

If a man feels like we’re telling him what to do, we might meet with some resistance. But if they feel like we respect their opinions and feelings, they tend to be more open to what we have to say.


Questions for meditation and discussion: (1) Have you ever wondered why your husband responded negatively to something you said, when you didn’t see anything offensive about what you said? If so, explain what happened? (2) Which feels better to you: being told what to do or being asked about it? Explain.

Application homework: Try putting some of your statements into question form (as far as those that might sound like a command). How did it go?

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