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Does Your Spouse Know How You Feel?


In sharing an idea, have you ever made the mistake of not telling your spouse how you felt about the idea? I have. One day, when our children were in elementary school, our church announced at a women’s Bible study that there were children in Russia who needed homes. I had no interest in adopting one, since I was barely keeping my head above water with the three children that we had, but I felt I should at least mention it to my husband.

When I told him, I should have explained the reasons why I felt it wasn’t the right timing for us to take on another child. But I simply mentioned the announcement. He assumed I was interested and got excited about the idea. I went through a number of weeks agonizing over the possibility.

Finally, during a week-end away without our children, I explained my reasons for not feeling ready for another child and asked if he could be content with the three we had. He said, “Sure.”

I have learned that, before presenting an idea, I need to first prayerfully decide if it’s something I’m interested in. If it is, then I can present the idea to my husband for his in-put, sharing my thoughts openly with him and respectfully listening to his.


Questions for meditation and discussion: (1) What thoughts came to mind after reading this? (2) Were any ideas new to you? If so, what? (3) Was the article helpful? Explain why or why not. (4) Was there anything you disagreed with? If so, what and why? (5) Do you take time to make sure you’re interested in an idea before you share it? If not, why not? (6) How well do you share your feelings with your spouse? Explain. (7) How well do you listen to him express his feelings? Explain.

Application homework: Before you share your idea with your husband, make sure you are truly interested in it. If you are, then share your thoughts honestly and listen respectfully to his. How is it going?

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