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Does Your Spouse Know How You Feel?

In sharing an idea, have you ever made the mistake of not telling your spouse how you felt about the idea? I have. One day, when our children were in elementary school, our church announced at a women's Bible study that there were children in Russia who needed homes. I had no interest in adopting...

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Keep Quiet Or Speak Up?

Have you ever wondered when to share your feelings and when to keep quiet? My husband, Tom, and I had to learn to lovingly and respectfully speak up when the other person did something that hurt our feelings. We're both very non-confrontational people, so we'd tend to say nothing. The problem is,...

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Couples: Should You Keep Your Decisions Private?

Have you ever been excited about an idea and shared it with your children before you consulted your spouse? I have. When our daughter, Kristy, was about six years old, Tom and I had discussed the possibility of hiring a clown for Kristy's birthday, but I told her before Tom and I had finalized our...

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Ask Or Tell?

Have you ever made a suggestion to your husband and he resisted because he felt you were making a demand? This has happened at times in our marriage. I learned that I could often avoid this problem by changing a statement to a question. For example, instead of saying, "We should call your...

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Are You Careful With Your Words?

A friend of mine once told me that I had typed the word "sex" instead of "six" in one of my blog posts. I had a good laugh over his comment about keeping my posts G rated, but it got me thinking. Both my husband and I had proofread the blog post, but we failed to catch that mistake. I've heard...

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Do You Speak Your Spouse’s Language?

Do you ever feel like you and your spouse are speaking different languages when you try to communicate? I do. Communication breakdowns can lead to misunderstandings and hurt feelings. First, we  must be careful not to make assumptions. For example, my husband often reminds me of things and I just...

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Are You Persuading Or Presenting?

Do you know the difference between presenting ideas and trying to persuade someone? We're attempting to persuade someone when we're convinced we're right and we're trying to get the other person to agree with us. If this is the case, we shouldn't pretend to be seeking their opinion. We're...

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Clarifying: Important?

Have you ever been misunderstood? Have you ever misunderstood someone else? If you have, then you understand the importance of asking clarifying questions. My husband often reminds me of things and I appreciate that because I can be forgetful at times and, even if I already remembered what he's...

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Are You Encouraging Or Motivating?

Do you know the subtle difference between encouraging someone and trying to motivate them? If you know it, and apply it, people will appreciate it! We're encouraging someone when we come alongside them in something they're already motivated to do. We're attempting to motivate them when we're...

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Exercising Faith in Communication

I have found that when I'm feeling tempted to give unsolicited advice, ask questions that are none of my business, or offer accountability to someone who hasn't asked for it, I'm usually lacking faith. I want to be helpful, but I probably won't be, and I even run the risk of offending them. At...

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