I have found that when I'm feeling tempted to give unsolicited advice, ask questions that are none of my business, or offer accountability to someone who hasn't asked for it, I'm usually lacking faith. I want to be helpful, but I probably won't be, and I even run the risk of offending them. At...
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My Gentle Leader
On June 25th, Tom and I will have been married 48 years. We have both grown in the area of communicating with respect and sensitivity. I want to share a recent example of my husband being a good listener and leader. I had a desire on my heart that I wanted to share with him. I was genuinely...
The Frog Story as told by Rick Warren
I thought the following was worth sharing (although I didn't write it): Rick Warren: As a child, I remember reading a story that went something like this: A group of 12 frogs were traveling together through a forest when two of them fell into a very deep, dark pit. The other 10 frogs gathered...
The Subtleties of Taking Control
The Lord periodically reminds me that I need to beware of trying to take control when I shouldn't. It happens so subtly. Even though God has given me a helpful way to discern when I'm overstepping my bounds (see my article, "Communication: God's Role & My Role" in the communication category),...
Share Honestly
Because of my people-pleasing personality, I struggle, at times, with sharing my feelings and view-points. But I know it's important to do so because, if I don't, then I may be faced with a situation where I'm going in a direction I'm not at peace about. Here's a recent example. I have a little...
Encourage One Another
"...encourage one another and build each other up..." 1 Th 5:11 If God puts it on your heart to encourage someone, do it. They may need a love touch at that moment, and you might be surprised to discover that you need one, too! I once wrote to one of our daughters telling her that I admired how...
Know Your Listener
Since we all have different backgrounds and personalities, our needs may differ, as well. Something that's beneficial for me may not be beneficial to the person I'm talking to. I'll share an example. I'm a very meditative type of person. I often reflect on past mistakes and look for lessons in...
Be Sensitive First, Then Honest
A recent failure on my part reminded me to monitor my initial reactions to an unpleasant experience. Thankfully, my insensitivity didn't bother my husband Tom as much as I feared it had, but I'm always striving to improve. My husband wasn't feeling well, so he opted out of a family gathering. I...
The Subtleties of Usurping Initiative
I need to be aware of the subtle ways I unintentionally usurp another person's initiative. Regardless of whether or not I intend to be helpful, when I do for another person what they could do for themselves, I'm not being helpful. In fact, I'm actually hindering their growth. I will share a few...
Wait For Unity
I have been guilty of two opposite mistakes in my marriage. I didn't share my feelings honestly with my husband and just let him have his way even when I disagreed, or I tried to persuade him to my point of view. Both are wrong. As a couple, what we should do is honestly share our feelings...