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Share Honestly

Because of my people-pleasing personality, I struggle, at times, with sharing my feelings and view-points. But I know it's important to do so because, if I don't, then I may be faced with a situation where I'm going in a direction I'm not at peace about. Here's a recent example. I have a little...

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Making Decisions Together

In marriage (and in many relationships), it is important to be sensitive to the other person's opinions and feelings when discussing things that affect both of us. I am growing in this area, but I still slip up now and then.   Here's an example of a mistake on my part. Normally, Tom and I...

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Wait For Unity

I have been guilty of two opposite mistakes in my marriage. I didn't share my feelings honestly with my husband and just let him have his way even when I disagreed, or I tried to persuade him to my point of view.   Both are wrong. As a couple, what we should do is honestly share our feelings...

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Sharing Dreams

In our early years of marriage, Tom and I had many dreams that we were excited to discuss, and some of them turned into big adventures, such as our decision to move from Long Beach, CA to a small town of about 250 people in up-state N.Y. just to experience something very different. We lived there...

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Blessing in Unity

Both the Bible and life experience teach us that there is blessing in unity. Therefore, my husband Tom and I continue to work on this aspect of our marriage.   We are trying to be more conscientious about discussing things before making decisions or commitments that affect both of us and...

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Transparency Requires Trust and Respect

The Lord frequently reminds me that transparency in a relationship requires mutual trust and respect. We have to trust that the person will respond to what we share with respect, even if they don't agree with us. We aren't likely to open up to someone if we fear that they'll laugh at, or ignore,...

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Honor Your Spouse With Your Words

The Bible says, "...out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks." (Luke 6:45, NIV) If we want to know what's in our hearts, listen to what comes out of our mouths. When we don't like what we hear, we need to confess to the Lord and ask for His help in changing the attitude of our heart. We...

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Following Begins With Surrendering

In order for us to follow anyone, we must trust them enough to surrender our will to theirs. In the case of Christian wives, if we're to follow our husband, even when we feel they're making a mistake, we need to trust God enough to believe His promise to bring good out of all things for those who...

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Learn To Speak Their Language

Mutual understanding is crucial to good communication. Suppose a friend of yours introduced you to a person from another country and that visitor was just learning your language. Imagine that, after the introductions, the foreigner very politely said, "It's a pleasure to meet you. F_ _ _ you." You...

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To Initiate or Not?

I know that my role as a wife and helpmate is to respectfully present my views to my husband and then follow his lead and support his decisions. But the Lord continues to fine-tune my understanding of how subtly and unintentionally I can undermine Tom's leadership. I have learned that there are...

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