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Couples: Should You Keep Your Decisions Private?


Have you ever been excited about an idea and shared it with your children before you consulted your spouse? I have. When our daughter, Kristy, was about six years old, Tom and I had discussed the possibility of hiring a clown for Kristy’s birthday, but I told her before Tom and I had finalized our decision. There were two things wrong with that: It made it difficult for Tom to say no, if he wanted to, and if he wanted to surprise her, I ruined the surprise.

Even with my adult children, I have sometimes been guilty of discussing ideas with them before Tom and I had come to a final decision. We need to be considerate of our spouses and also honor them by making decisions together and not sharing our thoughts with others until we’ve agreed to do so. This will also avoid the problem of disappointing people if we decide not to follow through on an idea.

In summary, if you’re married, make sure you and your spouse are in agreement about when to share your ideas and decisions with others.


Questions for meditation and discussion: (1) Have you ever shared something with someone before your husband was ready to share it? What happened? (2) How do you feel when your husband shares something before you want it shared?

Application homework: When you and your husband are still deciding about something, don’t discuss it with anyone else until the two of you agree on when, and with whom, to share it. How did it go?



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