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Part of being sensitive to another person's feelings is knowing when to speak, what to say, and when to keep quiet. This requires prayerful discernment. In 1992, a woman I highly respected wanted to share some insights with me about a difficult decision my husband and I were facing. I had a...
Jesus was a master at avoiding gossip (malicious talk). We can learn from his example. Once Jesus' disciples found him talking to a Samaritan woman. "Just then his disciples returned and were surprised to find him talking with a woman. But no one asked, 'What do you want?' or 'Why are you talking...
Both the Bible and life experience teach us that there is blessing in unity. Therefore, my husband Tom and I continue to work on this aspect of our marriage. We are trying to be more conscientious about discussing things before making decisions or commitments that affect both of us and...
God continues to teach and remind me of things, such as what's God's role and what's my role in communication. My role is to encourage, clarify, and present. God's role is to persuade and motivate. When I am humbly in the Spirit, my role in communication will be to encourage, clarify, and...
The Lord frequently reminds me that transparency in a relationship requires mutual trust and respect. We have to trust that the person will respond to what we share with respect, even if they don't agree with us. We aren't likely to open up to someone if we fear that they'll laugh at, or ignore,...
The Bible says, "...out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks." (Luke 6:45, NIV) If we want to know what's in our hearts, listen to what comes out of our mouths. When we don't like what we hear, we need to confess to the Lord and ask for His help in changing the attitude of our heart. We...
In order for us to follow anyone, we must trust them enough to surrender our will to theirs. In the case of Christian wives, if we're to follow our husband, even when we feel they're making a mistake, we need to trust God enough to believe His promise to bring good out of all things for those who...
Sharing openly can minimize misunderstandings. Without on-going clarification, it's possible to head the wrong direction out of a desire to please the other person. I'll share two examples that illustrate this. When Tom and my 45th wedding anniversary was coming up, neither of us had brought up...
Mutual understanding is crucial to good communication. Suppose a friend of yours introduced you to a person from another country and that visitor was just learning your language. Imagine that, after the introductions, the foreigner very politely said, "It's a pleasure to meet you. F_ _ _ you." You...
It is good to want to help others. However, in our desire to be helpful, we must beware of hindering the other person's development. My desire for peaceful relationships is a good desire, but I sometimes find myself playing the role of middleman between people who don't communicate well with each...
