God established the husband as the head of the house. Yes, the husband is expected to be considerate of his wife’s views and feelings, but he has the responsibility of making the final decisions, and God holds him accountable for those decisions. Therefore, it is important that we wives yield respectfully to his authority.
One of the roles of a husband is to protect his wife. I confess that it has taken me quite awhile to fully appreciate that aspect of Tom’s leadership. One of my weaknesses is that I’m very naive and easily manipulated. I have a lot of compassion and like to give people the benefit of the doubt, and I can easily get sucked into their emotions. This makes me very vulnerable to dishonest or manipulative people. I am ashamed to say that there have been times when I failed to recognize and appreciate Tom’s God-given insights and have thought he was just lacking in compassion. We have had a few uncomfortable situations with housing homeless people that have helped me to gain an appreciation for Tom’s point of view!
Sometimes I ignore Tom’s lack of peace about something and don’t give him adequate time to pray about it. When I continue to bring something up that he’s unsettled about, I am being insensitive and manipulative. While it may not be consciously intentional on my part, I’m guilty of trying to get him to do my will, to put it bluntly. Or, I’m impatiently trying to push for a solution before he has one.
One of Tom’s weaknesses is that he sometimes gives in, just as Adam gave in to Eve when he should have intervened between her and the serpent. Whenever one of us gets pushy and the other one gives in, we both suffer.
How are we attempting to correct this behavior? For my part, I’m asking the Lord to make me more sensitive to my husband’s feelings, taking note of when he seems to lack peace about something. If I sense he isn’t at peace, or if he says he isn’t at peace, I need to step back and give him time to think things through. I need to trust God and not panic as the hour of decision approaches and no solution seems to be materializing. God always comes through in His timing.
For my husband’s part, he is learning to speak up and simply tell me that he isn’t at peace, and that he needs more time. Then I will back off and just pray for him.
It may take us a life-time to perfect this, but were improving.
Thankfully, there is always hope in the Lord!