There are certain Scriptures that have become very real to me since we learned (in August of
2017) that my husband has stage 4 Melanoma cancer.
The first is Matthew 6:34: “Therefore (because God is faithful) do not worry about tomorrow, for
tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
I have been learning that the way to experience God’s grace and supernatural peace is to train
my mind to live in the moment at hand. I haven’t been given the grace for tomorrow. God
gives grace one day at a time. When I stay in the moment, I truly do experience God’s
supernatural peace and even joy. I’m able to praise Him for all the little “love touches” I see.
Surrender is easier in this situation because I KNOW I have no control over the outcome.
When I thanked God for this peace and told Him I want His help staying in this place, His answer
was to reveal other areas of my life where I was still trying to be in control, such as our son’s
ministry and some of my relationships. As God helps me to surrender my expectations to
Him and trust Him to work things out according to His plan (which is far superior to mine), I
find that His peace is replacing my striving and stress. In Matthew 11:28-30 Jesus says: “Come to
me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and
learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my
yoke is easy and my burden is light.” When I allow Him to carry my burdens, it’s amazing how
the stress melts away.
The other Scripture that has become very real to me is James 4:15: Instead (of boasting about
your plans) say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” Since we can’t predict
how Tom will feel after each treatment, we’ve learned to make what I call “pencil” plans (easily
erasable). The fact that God’s ultimately in control of our plans has become very real to us. I’m
learning to be surrendered and flexible. (This doesn’t come naturally to me.)
I find it’s also very difficult to make commitments. For example, I’m hesitant to volunteer my
time unless I know there’s a back up person who can take my place if I can’t make it. I’m going
to have to learn to hear God’s voice more clearly when I’m seeking His will, and trust that He has
a back up plan if I feel led to commit. I have to remember that:
a) If I hear Him wrong and make a mistake, He’s able to work it out.
b) Sometimes He’s simply testing my faith. (For example, He might lead me to accept a
commitment, knowing I won’t be able to keep it, just so He can demonstrate His faithfulness in
providing the solution.)
This is scary for me because I take my commitments very seriously. This is an area where God is
stretching my faith. I always wondered how public speakers could commit to something a year
in advance. Clearly, they are further along in their faith walk than I am.
So, while I would never choose hardship, I am thankful for how God uses it in my life and I will
prayerfully try to live out what God’s teaching me.